So I've been watching Star Wars on Spike for majority of the day today and I just wanted to make some comments about the saga. It'll be things I find stupid, interesting, stuff I've never noticed, etc. So enjoy!
1. Why the hell is Darth Sidious sitting at a desk in Episode III when Yoda comes to confront him? I know Family Guy makes fun of this, but what is he doing? Is he doing payroll for the Stormtroopers or making a down-payment on the Darth Star? It's just odd to me.
2. General Grievous is freaking awesome! I wish he had more of a part. According to Wiki, he was a creature from some planet and was in a shuttle crash which left him deformed. That's why he's half-robot and a jedi! Pretty sweet!
3. While filming the Empire Strikes Back, George Lucas tried his absolute hardest to keep the ending (ya know, "I am your father") a secret. Even from the cast. While filming, he had the actor portraying Vader's' body say "Obi-Wan killed your father," then they went back and had James Earl Jones dub the line as "I am your father." Only six people knew that Vader was Luke's father: George Lucas, the director, two writers, Mark Hamill (Luke), and James Earl Jones (Vader's voice).
4. I hate these special edition versions of the original trilogy. They went back and added in some "cool" visual effects, such as the deleted scene of Jabba and Han Solo talking in the hanger in Episode IV. At the time they released that version (which was in the 90s), it looked cool, but today it just looks bad. Jabba's in high-def and looks awkward against the background of the original film from the 70s. The original film is all faded and Jabba is all fake looking. It's just stupid. They should've done more subtle things.
5. After Episode III was released, they went back to Episode V and replaced a hologram with the original Emperor to a hologram of the actual Emperor. See, the Emperor in Episodes I, II, III, and VI are all the same actor, even if they are years apart. But in Episode V, they filmed an old lady in make up and a hood, and replaced her eyes with chimpanzee eyes and voice with the actors voice. They replaced monkey-eye-old-lady-face with the Emperor from the other films and I think the new version looks bad. I don't know why, but that particular scene stands apart from the rest of the film.
6. I like that one Jedi chick from the prequel trilogy. The one with the greenish-blue skin. I wish she had more of a part.
7. Why the hell is Obi-Wan nicknamed Ben? I don't get it and they never explain it.
8. Natalie Portman is amazing, throughout. That is all.
9. Blood and gore. In Episode IV, Obi-Wan cuts off some asshole's arm in a bar and it's all bloody. We don't see him actually cut it off. We just see a struggle, hear the lightsaber noise, and finally cut to a shot of an arm on the ground with blood on one end. People thought this was so horrible, so George never put blood in the movies again. Kind of a bummer. People get things cut off all the time. Both of Anakin's arms and legs; Luke's arm; Qui-Gon gets stabbed; Leia gets shot; Jengo Fett, Count Dooku, clones, and Vader (in a dream) get beheaded; Darth Maul is cut in half; Obi-Wan is like tapped by Vader then disappears; Anakin burns (but that's pretty realistic). Get what I mean? All of that happens and no blood. I understand it a little. 5/6 of the movies were PG. But a little blood wouldn't hurt (ha!). You don't want to be in the same boat as Narnia and their absence of blood.
10. The guy that flies the Millennium Falcon with Lando in Episode VI reminds me of a Mexican. That may sound back, but he's speaking another language and it looks like he has a thin gangster mustache. Not trying to be mean, but that's what it reminds me of.
11. How do you pronounce Han Solo's name? Hon (like H-on, as in the light is on) or Han (like H-An, as in look at the Hancock building). I like Hon. Or Hawn. So from now on it's Han Solo, pronounced Hawn Solo. Deal? Good.
12. As much as I'd be interested in seeing Episodes VII, VIII, and IX made and released, I'd rather they not do that. I loved the prequel trilogy, but so many hated it. Let's just leave it at six.
13. What are my favorite episodes in order, you ask? Well I'll tell ya. Return of the Jedi (VI), Revenge of the Sith (III), Attack of the Clones (II), A New Hope (IV), The Empire Strikes Back (V), and Phantom Menace (I). They all change though. The bottom three vary.
14. Scenes I love the most because they're so amazing: Yoda vs. Dooku, Yoda vs. Sidious, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon vs. Darth Maul, the escape from Jabba's barge, the Ewok battle, the Pod Race, General Grievious' scenes, Obi-Wan vs. Jengo Fett, Mace Windu vs. Darth Sidious, the entire ending of Attack of the Clones, R2-D2 flying, Anakin vs. Obi-Wan... maybe more, idk.
15. If you haven't seen Blue Harvest or Something, Something, Something, Dark Side, you need to. They're the Family Guy spoofs of Star Wars and they nail it perfectly.
16. They're supposed to make a new series on like Fox or something that is the time between Episodes III and IV. It's been in pre-production forever and I wish they'd get a move on it. It should be good. And it'll be live-action. GET TO WORK!
17. I like Hayden Christiansen as Anakin. Many people really hate him. Yes, he's kinda plain and emotionless, but I feel like Anakin would be just like that.
18. How could they not know Palpatine was the Sith lord?! When I first saw Episode I, I didn't pick up on that. I was like 10. But now that I'm older and watching these movies, how could they not speculate that he's evil. Everybody's dumb!
19. I think the prequel trilogy was a little heavy on the visual effects. Yes, it was new and fresh, but I think some of the space scenes from the original trilogy were more realistic looking than those in the prequel trilogy. I think they downgraded when they thought they were upgrading. And it's not even the space scenes. Even scenes where they're sitting in front of a window and you see all the commotion outside: the prequel trilogy fills the window up with stuff that draws you away from the dialogue and the original trilogy never has windows so we don't have to deal with that bullshit! And you'd think that the prequel trilogy's technology and settings would be less technologically advanced than the original's... Not true here. It seems like they get dumber over the years. That's like Thomas Edison inventing the iPod a hundred years ago, and us not figuring out how he did that today. It's all backwards.
20. Yoda. Yoda was a puppet in Episodes V and VI and some scenes of Episode I. Then in Episodes II and III, he was completely CGI. In Episode I, he looked so ugly. SO ugly! I don't know why they made him look so different. Even the puppets in V and VI and the CGI versions look the same. He just looks completely different in the first one and he looks 100 years older. I don't know if that's just me, but it bothers me. Anyways, I liked him CGI. He looked very real, but at times he did look fake. The puppet versions were good. George Lucas even campaigned for Frank Oz to be nominated for an Oscar for Episode V (but apparently a puppeteer can't be up for Supporting Actor). Rumor has it that George Lucas will rerelease all of the films in 3D (which is fine and totally expected at this point in the movie industry) but he'll also replace all of the puppet Yodas with CGI Yodas instead. That I think is stupid. It should be illegal.
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